DVD Storage
I watch a lot of television. In fact, I'm no longer a couch potato, I'm more like the state of Idaho. As I've watched, I've collected a series of pet peeves about nearly everything I watch. So what angers this boob about the tube?
Reruns Cut To Shreds — I am a lifelong “M*A*S*H” junkie. When our local station showed the show twice a day, I often caught both, eventually seeing just about every episode at least four or five times. Somewhere in the mid 90s the shows started getting cut to shreds. Hawkeye would be in mid joke or pious speech and suddenly you'd be in another scene. Jokes and scenes I remembered fondly were suddently nowhere to be found. While you can get many of these shows uncut on DVD now, it's a bit sad to have to watch shows cut to bits in syndication. Some shows are now even creating content that can easily be ripped out because of syndication. Kudos to Sleuth Channel for showing one of my favorites, “The Rockford Files”, uncut, even including the episode “previews” that used to precede each show.
Filmlook on Videotaped Shows — I first saw this process of making videotaped shows look like they were shot on film in the early 90s, on an unsold pilot shown in a television class I took. In case you're not aware, videotape and film have a lot different properties. Videotape has a “live” look, with bright colors, sharp picture, and no grain. Film has a more artsy look, with grain, muted colors, and a richer feel. Filmlook adds an obviously fake veneer to stuff shot on video tape, as well as what seems to be a flicker. The result, perhaps best seen daily on “All My Children”, is a show that has none of the good qualities of either medium. It's meant to make the cheap looking videotaped productions look richer. In most cases, they just look cheesy.
Bugs – These are those logos, big and small, that have cropped up like weeds on every network and station that can afford a computer and make you feel like you're watching through a frosted window on the lower right corner of your screen. One of our local stations has one that is so obnoxious, it takes up about an eighth of the screen.
More words than Moby Dick on News Shows — Look honey, there's the news they're telling us at the very bottom. And look, just above that, there's a bit about exactly what we're seeing. And look, right above that, there's a title for the story. And look right above that there's the name of the person they're speaking to. And look above that there is a thing that tells us today's forecast. And look, right above that is the name of the reporter and what he had for breakfast, and…..
You need an Evelyn Wood speedreading course these days just to watch the news. It would be nice just to have them focus on the story at hand and show me a picture.
Sports in Standard Definition — If ESPN can cover Frisbee Golf in HD, then surely ABC can give us an Indy Race in HD. Although it is happening less and less, it is frustrating to flip on a game you want to watch and see that the network couldn't be bothered to shoot in in HD. I bought an HDTV because I wanted to be able to see Shaq's lazy eye better than his opthamologist, not so I could stretch 400 pound linemen into 500 pound linemen on a standard definition game.
“Debates” on News Shows — Do we need more gun control? To discuss further, we have the head of the NRA and a woman who was shot 48 times by a guy who purchased a gun legally from a gun show. This is what passes for debate these days. You get two polar opposites and have them screaming at each other, thus learning nothing about the issue. Jon Stewart summed this up much more eloquently than I did when he was on Crossfire.
Cliches among reporters — The next local reporter who uses the term “like a war zone” to describe the damage done by a storm will be shackled and sent to Iraq. A trip to the inside of the Liberty Bell to act as a clapper is in store for the person who uses the phrase, “shots rang out.” And an athletic supporter over the face of the next sports guy who says, “just look at his athleticism on this play” while describing an athlete. He's an athlete. All professional athletes have “athleticism”. That's why they call them athletes.
“Alleged” Crimes – I understand that this one is a CYA move on most news shows, but if someone is shot 38 times with a bazooka by someone else, they aren't “allegedly” killed. They're killed. The “alleged” part is only for an accused person or the level of severity of the crime. If the crime happened, it happened. Alleged doesn't enter into it.
Cable Networks that Forget Their Reason For Existing — MTV — Music Television. VH1 — Video Hits One. Anyone remember when these channels used to show music and music themed programming? Now they're homes for cruddy reality programming and endless repeats of shows about previous decades. Don't get me wrong, “I Love the 70s” was fun in its first 7 iterations, but isn't it stretching it a bit to have the Olsen Twins reminiscing about 8-Track tapes? The worst offender of all is CNN Headline News. This was the one place you could turn for news every half hour. Now it fills its Primetime lineup with such stellar talents as Glenn Beck and the Southern Satan, Naaaaancy Graaace.
Shows that start or end one or two minutes too late — I have a dual tuner TIVO that can tape two shows at once. Unfortunately, that one minute overlap can kill my ability to tape two shows during an hour because the TIVO's still trying to finish up a show on another network that's late in ending. I know it's a cheap way to try and keep you from changing the channel, but none of us are fooled.
Fox News — 'Nuff said.
and finally……
“Reality” shows — An admission. I loved the first season of “Survivor” and the first few seasons of “Big Brother”. But “Survivor” birthed the most hideous form of celebrity, the reality star, followed closely by the reality star wannabe. Every single reality show, no matter how promising the concept, seems to be populated not by people who want to experience the challenge of being on the show, but by people who want their 15 minutes of fame. And the networks, knowing this, tend to fill these shows with as many gorgeous and empty people as they can find. The result is that every reality show seems to be the same, and “the game” becomes more important than the concept.